Just Another Blog Post(?)

To be completely honest, I wish I were posting on one of my other blogs. If I were, that would mean my social life (instead of my internal dialogue) was thriving. Alas, it does not appear this is meant to be. 

It has officially been a week since I have had a substantial conversation with the one person who has piqued a genuine interest from me in quite awhile. He should take that as a compliment. In fact, he should be highly flattered that he was able to inspire such interest. Few have managed to. But I digress; I am waxing a bit Narcissistic, and I do not intend to spend the rest of my days entranced with these reflections in my river of thought.

To cast a wider net: my life has been a rapid-fire of rhetorical questions, and, unlike the gentlemen of the Second Virginia Convention, I do not have Patrick Henry to tell me how I should think and behave. I often wish this were in fact my reality. In my (no longer) secret heart I crave to have someone tell me what my next career move, romantic tryst, or fulfillment should be. I am unashamed to admit that the longing to be fired has crossed my mind. If I were fired, I would be forced to take my life back into my own hands. I would have to make the decisions that I will otherwise ignore until a catalyst of some sort rocks the foundations of my life. I have also secreted away a hope for someone to enter my life and provide a reason to release the anchor of my disconnected family. I want to float. 

When all is said and done, I want a reason to leave my comfort zone. I want to be pushed to reveal myself. I want to be offered the opportunity to risk some of my self-appointed prudishness and disregard my insecurities to become the confident, charismatic, cutting, crude, and compassionate woman I know I have hidden for far too long.